


Deep as First Love

by Pollys_hymnia



Series: Silmarillion Ficlets [2]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Cousin Incest, Finrod/Maglor - Freeform, First Kiss, Fluff, Gratuitous use of italics, Happy days in Valinor, M/M, Music, Russingon, Sparring, Swimming, Wine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-29 23:39:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17817719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pollys_hymnia/pseuds/Pollys_hymnia
Summary: This follows the trope of Fingon returning from traveling for several years in Valinor and meanwhile coming of age.  Upon his return, Maedhros finds him much changed both in body and in mind.  Fingon is now both extremely attractive and charmingly confident.  Maedhros finds that he is no longer able to deny his consuming desire and love for him.  However, he ends up needing a little help from two of his other cousins (Finrod and Maglor) to act on his feelings.





	Deep as First Love

**Author's Note:**

> Title from a Tennyson poem. Sorry this is light on plot, but it's mostly fluff. Enjoy.

“His hair is beautiful”

Maitimo glanced up, “Findaráto’s is better.”

“Maybe, but it’s less golden… and while Findaráto is very fair, he doesn’t have such _muscles._ ”

Maitimo glanced over at his companion irritably, “I suppose that’s true but I’ve never paid much mind to Laurefindil’s muscles.”

“Mmm well, oh look here comes Pendelot, he’s so _tall_ ,” Findekáno sighed.

“I’m taller,” Maitimo blurted out.

Findekáno cast a sideways look at him, “No you’re not.”

“Yes I am, well, maybe, I don’t know, I suppose it doesn’t matter.”

“We could put you two back to back and judge that way,” Findekáno grinned liking the image.

“I don’t see the point… and did we come here to watch or gape at the sparring?”

“I personally came to gape, I don’t know about you, although I would consider joining in and being gaped at,” Findekáno laughed, “That would suit me well.”  Findekáno was only recently returned from his travels and Maitimo was still trying to get used to his cousin’s new found confidence.  And good looks.  Findekáno certainly had not grown any taller in his time away, but he had filled out.

“You would—”

His voice trailed off as Findekáno had pulled his tunic over his head and tossed it aside, walking over toward a rack of practice swords.

Maitimo’s face flushed, which, while he was grateful Findekáno did not see with his back turned to him, he was less grateful that Findekáno had begun a lively sparring match with Laurefindil.  Not that he didn’t mind watching Findekáno dart around, newly defined muscles tight and rippling with strength and energy, the faint sheen of sweat coating them making them just begin to glisten.  Maitimo forgot where he was going with that.   Oh right, had Findekáno just winked at Laurefindil?  Had Laurefindil just winked back?  Maitimo’s eyes narrowed and Laurefindil must have caught the distinctive scowl on his face as he quickly averted his gaze from Maitimo.  Findekáno meanwhile was grinning and seemed not at all put out when at length Laurefindil managed to knock the sword from his hand.

“Well fought,” Findekáno offered his hand to Laurefindil who shook and then clasped it maybe just longer than was necessary.

“Indeed, you have improved quite a bit since the last time we sparred… in many ways.”

Findekáno grinned.  Maitimo glared.  Laurefindil cast a distinctly flirtatious glance, “I’m at your disposal any time you would like to train more.”

“Thank you, I will take you up on that,” he waived a friendly goodbye and went back over and sat down next to Maitimo again.  Findekáno turned his smile on Maitimo next, “What’s wrong, you’re making a distinctly Turukáno-like unhappy face.”

“I am not.”

Findekáno raised his brows, “Really, your brow is distinctly furrowed and your lips are disappearing into a line, you should see yourself Maitimo you look remarkably like my brother, minus of course the dark hair.”

Maitimo sighed and ran his hand through his bright red hair, “Are we done here?”

“Well we could be if you want, did you have something else in mind?”

“No,” Maitimo admitted.

“I thought you wanted to spend some time with me,” the faint hint of a frown appeared on Findekáno’s lips, “did you change your mind?”

“NO,” Maitimo said emphatically, “I just, maybe we can do something else…”

“Such as what?”

“Well, we could go down to the lake it’s been what? Years since we last did that.”

Findekáno smiled, “Yes, quite a while ago when I was still knobby and awkward.”

Maitimo glanced at Findekáno’s distinctly now non-knobby form and felt his stomach do a flip, “I suppose that’s true,” Maitimo’s gaze lingered on Findekáno’s still bare, finely sculpted, firm chest.  He caught himself staring and averted his eyes down to the sword rack.

Findekáno grinned widely and stood back up, “Then let’s go.”

 

When they had gotten down to the lakeshore, Findekáno running on ahead of him, Maitimo began to realize that perhaps this was not the best idea.  His suspicion was confirmed when Findekáno paused at the edge of the water and began to shuffle his breeches off.  Despite rapidly shutting his eyes, the image of Findekáno’s round, firm, sculpted buttocks was burned into his brain.  He silently counted to 10 but was roused from his attempt to calm his body’s response to his cousin with a loud splashing noise and a spray of water on his face.  He opened his eyes to see Findekáno now floating on his back about a dozen feet from the shore.  Maitimo swallowed, taking a few deep breaths, trying again to still his rapidly beating heart.  He looked down and began to unbutton his shirt slowly, hoping that hyper-focusing on this small task would also help distract him from other thoughts. 

Findekáno looked back at Maitimo from the water, sighing a little despite himself as each button revealed just a bit more of Maitimo’s pale skin inch by inch.  Soon the shirt ended up on the ground.

Maitimo could tell that maybe while his cheeks and ears were still a faint shade of pink, he wasn’t, at least, hard or half-hard now.  He pushed his breeches off down his legs and kicked them aside and waded into the cool water.

Findekáno greeted him with another good natured splash of water to the face, “Took you long enough.”

Maitimo looked somewhere off just to the left of Findekáno’s all-too-naked form “I didn’t want to wrinkle my clothes,” he explained somewhat lamely.

Findekáno laughed then dunked his head under the water and resurfaced, shaking his hair behind his head and setting another spray of droplets flying.

Maitimo was momentarily dazzled by the sun reflecting off the droplets and glinting off the gold in his cousin’s hair, he failed once more to fight the urge to stare. He forced his gaze off to the side.

“Is this more to your liking, cousin?” Findekáno said as he cocked his head in a somewhat coquettish fashion.

Maitimo looked back directly at Findekáno and felt his tongue cleave itself to the top of his mouth, another flush rising to his cheeks, “Mmmmn” he nodded vaguely.

Findekáno grinned flopped backward to float on his back again, “It’s a beautiful day, we should have brought some food for later or at least some wine,” he glanced over at Maitimo, “I suppose we could stop somewhere and pick something up, or…” his gaze passed over Maitimo and a little beyond, “we could steal something.”

Maitimo turned and followed Findekáno’s gaze, a half mile or so down the lakeshore sat a pair of elves, one dark haired and one golden haired.  The faint sounded of singing and harp playing floated down the wind.

“I do believe your brother is trying to impress Findaráto,” Findekáno observed, arching his brows, “If I’m not mistaken that’s the song he sang before the gathering of visiting Teleri, hmm but it sounds like he’s modified it a little.”

“Why would Makalaurë want to impress Findaráto?” Maitimo asked skeptically.

Findekáno snorted slightly then laughed, “Who wouldn’t want to impress Findaráto?  Myself excluded, as I’ve said he’s not exactly my _type_ ” he looked at Maitimo pointedly.

Maitimo’s stomach flipped again, “Ah, well… perhaps, and he is our cousin.”

“Does that matter?” Findekáno had paddled back to Maitimo and was now looking up at him from under his long, dark lashes.

“I… yes…” Maitimo trailed off uncertainly, wondering just how it was that Findekáno’s eyes were so impossibly blue, “I mean….” He lost his train of thought again, “I don’t know.”

“And anyway, they’re half cousins… like us,” Findekáno hinted meaningfully, leaning forward and standing next to Maitimo.  He was a full head shorter and still looking up at Maitimo, but Maitimo felt himself distinctly intimidated by Findekáno’s air of self-assuredness.

“Wh…what?” Maitimo stuttered.

Findekáno grinned again and walked past Maitimo, brushing his arm and shoulder as he did so, “I’m going to go steel some of their wine.”  He climbed back up the bank and shook the water off then patted himself somewhat dry and pulled his breeches back on, “Come if you want.”

Maitimo closed his eyes again, he knew better than to look at Findekáno’s ass but that didn’t stop his mind from conjuring the image again.  He concentrated on his breathing and thought it best for the moment to stay silent.  It was becoming increasingly difficult for him to manage the growing attraction he felt for his cousin and he hated himself for it. 

Findekáno meanwhile had jogged lightly toward Findaráto and Makalaurë.  He waved at them in greeting, “Good afternoon cousins!” He stopped short of leaping over Findaráto and cast himself down on the bank alongside him, “What a lovely day for a picnic.”

“Indeed it is, cousin, but it seems you’ve forgotten your food, and your shirt? Again?” Findaráto mused.

Makalaurë looked up from his harp, “Findekáno, hello… I wasn’t expecting to see you here.”

“Nor I you,” he gestured behind him, “Maitimo and I were going for a swim, and I did work up quite an appetite.”

Findaráto grinned, “Of that I have no doubt.”  Findekáno and Findaráto both laughed.  Meanwhile, Maitimo had made his way over to them, fully dressed.

Makalaurë regarded Findekáno and Findaráto somewhat skeptically then looked up at Maitimo, “Hello brother… come to pillage our goods like our fair cousin here?”

“Pillaging implies you don’t intend to share, how rude!” Findekáno said laughing again.

Maitimo smiled and sat down by Findekáno, “It does indeed… I have no intention of pillaging your goods though we would much appreciate anything you were willing to share…”

“Come now Kano, let’s be generous… we have more food that we need,” he cast back the linen covering the basket he had brought and produced some fruit, bread, cheese, and wine. 

“Have I mentioned you’re my favorite cousin Findaráto?” Findekáno said seizing his hands upon the wineskin.

Findaráto looked at Findekáno slyly, “Favorite cousin?  I doubt that highly,” he eyed Maitimo who had picked up an apple.

Findekáno looked over at Maitimo as well, another smile brightening his face, “Ah well, you’re right.  Second favorite then.”

Maitimo smiled back broadly then bit his apple and looked over at Makalaurë, fishing for a change of topic, “Was that the composition you played for the Teleri last week?”

Findekáno took a long, deep drink of wine as Makalaurë began an oration regarding the themes and inspiration of his latest work and the modifications he had incorporated based on a recent collaboration with Findaráto.

“Collaboration!” Findekáno exclaimed, seizing on the word, at this point the wine skin had made several rounds through their little circle, “Yes I was wondering just what kind of collaboration you two were working on?”

“Findaráto has become quite a talented harpist and composer, I find he has a different voice in all his works both literally of course and figuratively, it’s very refreshing and I find it inspiring.  I think we’ve made some beautiful music together.”

“Mmmm, yes, tell us more about Findaráto’s talents,” Findekáno passed the wine skin over to Makalaurë who took a sizable sip.

“Well, aside from those already mentioned I’m sure he has many… and I look forward to discovering them all,” Makalaurë grinned amiably, having been loosened up considerably by the wine.

Findaráto patted his cheeks, uncertain if his ability to stifle his blushes was fully functional, “Oh, thank you Makalaurë, I do appreciate your esteem… I can only hope of course to possess a fraction of the talent that you do, of course.”

“So,” Maitimo gestured back and forth between Findaráto and Makalaurë with his finger, “Findekáno was right when he said you were trying to, ah, impress Findaráto here?”

“Impress?  Well I suppose so, and why not?” Makalaurë asked.

“Why not,” Maitimo echoed and took the wine skin from him next, drinking.

Findekáno eyed him again, “Yes, why not?”

“Well, consider myself impressed,” Findaráto snatched the wine skin from Maitimo and drained the last of it.  “But what of your efforts Findekáno?”

“My efforts are making an impression as far as I can tell,” he leaned over and sifted through the basket, “Was that _all_ the wine Findaráto?” He pulled out another skin, “Ha! I thought not… you are your father’s son,” he laughed.

“Father says you should never have to end a party too soon for lack of wine,” Findaráto agreed.

“Efforts?” Maitimo circled back.

“You can’t be that oblivious, brother, can you?”

Maitimo looked uncertain but Findekáno grinned, “At impressing people of course.”

Maitimo’s stomach dropped thinking about Laurefindil and he frowned.  Findekáno’s brow furrowed, “Well maybe they haven’t been as successful as I thought.”

“Nonsense, I can assure you as someone who lives with Maitimo that they have indeed been successful, and my brother’s constant _restlessness_ is greatly distracting.  I’m hoping that you can alleviate it soon so I can compose in silence without having to hear the endless pacing from the next room.”

“Well that depends,” Findekáno replied vaguely.

“… depends?” asked Maitimo.

“By the Valar will you just kiss him already,” Findaráto tossed a piece of cheese at Maitimo’s head.

Maitimo’s eyes widened less to the shock of being pelted with cheese than realization dawning on him, “What? Ohhhh.”

Findekáno looked at him with a mixture of trepidation and expectation, appearing to be actually nervous for the first time Maitimo could remember since his return from his travels.  Maitimo momentarily froze.

“As I thought, he won’t do it,” Makalaurë remarked.

“Yet,” Findaráto added.

“Yet,” Makalaurë agreed.

Meanwhile Findekáno looked thoroughly disappointed and take a rather large gulp of wine.

Findaráto eyed Makalaurë, “You know, maybe he just needs some instruction.”

“Hmmm?” Makalaurë tipped his head curiously and looked at Findaráto who was inching closer to him. 

“What? I don’t need any—” Maitimo stopped short as Findaráto leaned in and kissed Makalaurë softly on the lips.  His jaw dropped and he stared at them.

Findekáno laughed merrily again, “I think you broke him.”

Findaráto leaned back and frowned, “What? Makalaurë?”

Makalaurë leaned forward as Findaráto pulled back, having no objections whatsoever to the kiss but only it’s ending, “What?”

“No, Maitimo” Findekáno gestured at Maitimo whose face was steadily reddening, gradually approaching the same shade as his hair.

Findaráto looked at Maitimo then turned his attention back to Makalaurë who was still leaning toward him eagerly, “Oh,” he leaned in and kissed Makalaurë again.  Makalaurë pulled Findaráto into his lap and wrapped his arms around him as he kissed him back.

Maitimo meanwhile was slowly trying to process what he was seeing.  Then he tried to reconcile it with their prior conversation.  There was no denying to himself anymore how he felt about Findekáno, but as to the question of whether or not he should act on those feelings… The answer had always been a resounding ‘no.’  First out of fear, then out of a sense of propriety.  Now he wondered for the first time if he had been wrong about that.  He let himself picture what it would be like to kiss Findekáno.  It felt both terrifyingly exhilarating and… right.  He looked at Findekáno who was still watching him intently the whole time.  Maitimo shook himself out of his stupor, “Findekáno would you… um, would you like it if I kissed you?”

Findekáno arched an eyebrow, “Of course you would turn this back on me, but yes… Yes I should like it very much if you kissed me, Maitimo.” 

And Maitimo did.

Maitimo leaned toward Findekáno quickly, almost suddenly, and brought their lips together in a fierce kiss.  Findekáno caught himself just barely and managed not to topple over. He pushed himself forward and kissed Maitimo back just as fiercely.

Findaráto meanwhile had pulled back again from Makalaurë, “FINALLY!”  But neither Findekáno nor Makalaurë paid him any mind.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Tears, Idle Tears" by Tennyson, the last stanza runs:
> 
> Dear as remembered kisses after death,  
> And sweet as those by hopeless fancy feigned  
> On lips that are for others; deep as love,  
> Deep as first love, and wild with all regret;  
> O Death in Life, the days that are no more.
> 
> And I'm on tumblr as stareyenight, always happy to say hi!


End file.
